Day 2: Walking Commentary
It's not a running commentary. It's not even a jogging commentary. After yesterday's rapid descent from utter-madness in the afternoon to slight neurosis at nght, I'm being even less ambitious with my posting today. Plus, I'm not planning on being coherent once the SU game tips. Still, this feels like a better option than just vomming out all my thoughts via twitter and facebook. Oh, and this is the 500th post on the Sauna! One post for every bracket I've ever filled out!
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9:21 pm - Tu Holloway finally hit a three, but so far he's been more disappointing then that time I wore Axe body spray to a sorority party.
8:37 pm - Marquette's Jae Crowder is a fantastic player. He was brilliant in their win over the Orange this year. I'm glad he's getting some nationally-televised props in this one.
It's tough to know who to root for from a Syracuse perspective. I guess I want the team that's playing worse. If you're the Orange, you'd rather play the team that loses this game than the team that wins it. Is that possible? Can we ask for that?
7:07 pm - Another March tradition: Kansas struggling early against a 16-seed. 10-10...the Terriers are fighting! Somewhere, friend of the Sauna BU-grad Andrew is rolling his eyes pessimistically.
6:36 pm - This is my new background.
6:30 pm - Sweet sassy molassy, Kyrie Irving finished with 14 points?!? I watched him for a minute or two and he looked good if a bit slow. I've said it before and I'll say it again; Duke is a juggernaut with a healthy Kyrie Irving. He is fantastic.
6:25 pm - Congrats to Florida St. for being the first lower seed to win today. Not that the Nova-George Mason and Arizona-Memphis games weren't great, but my heart thrives on upsets this time of year. Wherefore art thou, St. Mary's??
Then again, if Florida St is the LAST upset of the day, I think we'd be satisfied in my hometown.
5:16 pm - It won't be remembered like a buzzer-beater, but Derrick Williams' block in the final seconds was just as significant. Memphis should be playing overtime right now. Instead they're going home.
4:59 pm - Wait...is that Charlie Sheen getting kneed in the groin in that CBS "Manly Monday" ad?? I rewound three times but wasn't quite certain. If it is...talk about literally hitting below the belt!
4:35 pm - Ladies and gentlemen...Mr. Gus Johnson. May his first 3 games be thrillers, and the fourth be a dud!
4:02 pm - Since the games have been, thus far, duds, let's talk commercials. I actually enjoy the Visigoth Sports Net ad. The whole Viking raider thing was a getting old, but this has rejuvenated it for me. I especially love Bill Walton's cameo: "Enough of this psycho-babble!"
I'm not a fan of that commercial with the guy running through the city using his smart phone, mainly because they never really make it clear until the last second why he's running around. At the end, he just opens the door and clobbers some poor guy. OK, we see a flash of a badge at his belt as he reaches for his cuffs. But the execution is very odd. Why not begin the commercial with a shot of the criminal he eventually captures, setting up the fact that he is a criminal and not just some poor sucker who happens to be running down the alley when the guy opens the door?
(Warning: extended and possibly annoying rant to follow...)
I've never really liked Axe's campaign, mainly because it represents all that is troubling about advertising. Let's break down the "falling angels" ad. If you're a guy, and you spray yourself with Axe, angels who look like models will fall from the sky and renounce their purity to enjoy some kind of immoral group sexual act with you. Yes, it's way over the top, but the ads never seem to be laughing at themselves, do they? Moreover, what does the spray smell like? Yes, scent is hard to describe on television, but that's not the point. The scent of the product is called "excite!" Axe isn't selling scent. It's selling sex in a spray can. (It's also assuming a lot, such as the idea that men derive ultimate satisfaction and happiness through their a sexually promiscuous lifestyle, and women are sexually driven purely by their sense of smell...but we won't get into those problems here.) Compare the spray ads to Axe's hair goo ads, which also center on the idea: use of product = sex. Still, at least it compares itself to other hair products - it won't make your hair feel crusty and hard. (Actually, I use that Axe goo for precisely that reason.)
Even better, compare Axe to Old Spice, which is an utterly brilliant campaign. It's also over the top, but in a self-conscious and thus hilarious way. Commercials have been using sex to sell products for a hundred years, and Old Spice is no different. Still, while Axe is disturbing, Old Spice is playful. They jam every stereotypical image of the charming man into their ad that they can, blending it together with pleasing editing. They draw attention to their playfulness with the script. Old Spice smells good. Real men use Old Spice. But what is a real man? It's everything they show on the commercial, but the commercial is intentionally over the top, thus so is the definition of manhood. This is a product for guys who look like the Old Spice guy, and for everyone else.
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9:21 pm - Tu Holloway finally hit a three, but so far he's been more disappointing then that time I wore Axe body spray to a sorority party.
8:37 pm - Marquette's Jae Crowder is a fantastic player. He was brilliant in their win over the Orange this year. I'm glad he's getting some nationally-televised props in this one.
It's tough to know who to root for from a Syracuse perspective. I guess I want the team that's playing worse. If you're the Orange, you'd rather play the team that loses this game than the team that wins it. Is that possible? Can we ask for that?
7:07 pm - Another March tradition: Kansas struggling early against a 16-seed. 10-10...the Terriers are fighting! Somewhere, friend of the Sauna BU-grad Andrew is rolling his eyes pessimistically.
6:36 pm - This is my new background.
6:30 pm - Sweet sassy molassy, Kyrie Irving finished with 14 points?!? I watched him for a minute or two and he looked good if a bit slow. I've said it before and I'll say it again; Duke is a juggernaut with a healthy Kyrie Irving. He is fantastic.
6:25 pm - Congrats to Florida St. for being the first lower seed to win today. Not that the Nova-George Mason and Arizona-Memphis games weren't great, but my heart thrives on upsets this time of year. Wherefore art thou, St. Mary's??
Then again, if Florida St is the LAST upset of the day, I think we'd be satisfied in my hometown.
5:16 pm - It won't be remembered like a buzzer-beater, but Derrick Williams' block in the final seconds was just as significant. Memphis should be playing overtime right now. Instead they're going home.
4:59 pm - Wait...is that Charlie Sheen getting kneed in the groin in that CBS "Manly Monday" ad?? I rewound three times but wasn't quite certain. If it is...talk about literally hitting below the belt!
4:35 pm - Ladies and gentlemen...Mr. Gus Johnson. May his first 3 games be thrillers, and the fourth be a dud!
4:02 pm - Since the games have been, thus far, duds, let's talk commercials. I actually enjoy the Visigoth Sports Net ad. The whole Viking raider thing was a getting old, but this has rejuvenated it for me. I especially love Bill Walton's cameo: "Enough of this psycho-babble!"
I'm not a fan of that commercial with the guy running through the city using his smart phone, mainly because they never really make it clear until the last second why he's running around. At the end, he just opens the door and clobbers some poor guy. OK, we see a flash of a badge at his belt as he reaches for his cuffs. But the execution is very odd. Why not begin the commercial with a shot of the criminal he eventually captures, setting up the fact that he is a criminal and not just some poor sucker who happens to be running down the alley when the guy opens the door?
(Warning: extended and possibly annoying rant to follow...)
I've never really liked Axe's campaign, mainly because it represents all that is troubling about advertising. Let's break down the "falling angels" ad. If you're a guy, and you spray yourself with Axe, angels who look like models will fall from the sky and renounce their purity to enjoy some kind of immoral group sexual act with you. Yes, it's way over the top, but the ads never seem to be laughing at themselves, do they? Moreover, what does the spray smell like? Yes, scent is hard to describe on television, but that's not the point. The scent of the product is called "excite!" Axe isn't selling scent. It's selling sex in a spray can. (It's also assuming a lot, such as the idea that men derive ultimate satisfaction and happiness through their a sexually promiscuous lifestyle, and women are sexually driven purely by their sense of smell...but we won't get into those problems here.) Compare the spray ads to Axe's hair goo ads, which also center on the idea: use of product = sex. Still, at least it compares itself to other hair products - it won't make your hair feel crusty and hard. (Actually, I use that Axe goo for precisely that reason.)
Even better, compare Axe to Old Spice, which is an utterly brilliant campaign. It's also over the top, but in a self-conscious and thus hilarious way. Commercials have been using sex to sell products for a hundred years, and Old Spice is no different. Still, while Axe is disturbing, Old Spice is playful. They jam every stereotypical image of the charming man into their ad that they can, blending it together with pleasing editing. They draw attention to their playfulness with the script. Old Spice smells good. Real men use Old Spice. But what is a real man? It's everything they show on the commercial, but the commercial is intentionally over the top, thus so is the definition of manhood. This is a product for guys who look like the Old Spice guy, and for everyone else.
posted by Prof. A at 2:57 PM
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