World Cup Predictions: Ranking the 32...
Here's my ranking of the World Cup field, from worst to first. The first 10 or 15 on the board are a total crap shoot, I'm not going to lie. I am going to factor in how well I think they're going to finish, except I'm not going to try to plot who plays who in the knockout stage. Conveniently, that allows me to ignore the fact that the US will probably play Brazil if they finish second in their group. (Well, maybe the US will finish first. Or Brazil will finish second. Either could realistically happen if you look at the groups.)
Also, for the many novice soccer fans out there, I've included a "player to watch" for every team I could; in most cases, he played in England and/or is the only player on the team that I know.
Right! Here goes...
32. Trinidad and Tobago: These guys scraped their way in with a controversial win over Bahrain. They're just happy to be in their first World Cup.
Player to Watch: Dwight Yorke - Former Man Uer
31. Saudi Arabia: No respect to the Arabs who don't have a single player based outside their country, and haven't won a World Cup game since their debut in the tourney in 1994.
Player to Watch: Sami Al-Jaber - Former Wolverhampton Wanderer and suposed "Greatest Saudi Footballer Ever"
30. Togo: You know you're in trouble when your biggest story heading into the tournament is a pay dispute between players and management.
Player to Watch: Emmanuel Adebayor - Arsenal
29. Ecuador: Every one of their qualifying victories was played way up in the high Andes. I'm not sure that's the best way to prepare for Central Europe in June.
28. Angola: Just look at their team picture. These guys have no idea what's going on.
Player to Watch: Rui Manuel Marques - Leeds United
27. Tunisia: Bit of injury trouble coming in with one striker out and their leading striker, Brazilian born Santos, to miss their opening game.
26. Serbia and Montenegro: No one wants to play them, but their group is just too tough.
Player to Watch: Mateja Kezman - Former Chelsea
25. Iran: Back for the third World Cup and first since their greatest victory in history - over the US in France '98. Nothing bigger this year.
24. Costa Rica: They've actually got a very good record in the World Cup (3W, 3L, 1D). And if this tournament were being held anywhere else I might fancy them to knock off this iffy German team. But it isn't so I don't.
23. Ghana: Somebody has to lose Group E. It's Ghana, despite a strong roster in their first cup.
Player to Watch: Michael Essien - Dirty Chelsea Midfielder
22. Australia: Somebody has to lose Group F. It's Australia who's strong side is hurt by the seeding system with a tough draw.
Player to Watch: Timmy Cahill - Everton Baby!!
21. Paraguay: These guys have won a game in 5 out of their 6 World Cups, but only one game. They've got a few German-based players on their roster and should give a nice run to England and Sweden, but not much of a scare.
20. Japan: I have to keep reminding myself that Japan's nice run last World Cup came at home. I really believe that Japan and South Korea are on a similar trajectory as the US, with more players playing in Europe. But Japan didn't win a game in France '98 and will only do a little better here.
Player to Watch: Nakata - Bolton/The Japanese Beckham
19. Switzerland: The Swiss are undergoing a bit of a Renaissance these days. They're win a game.
Player to Watch: Hakan Yakin - Fantastic name
18. Italy: There's been a lot of buzz in the States about the Czech Republic's rash of injuries, but the Azzuri are having it even worse. This is the first of two tall trees to fall in the first round.
Player to Watch: All of them. They're all divers. That's why the ref called that infamous dive last World Cup that turned out to not be a dive at all. Reputation. Ah, sorry. Actually, watch Del Piero. He's due in the Cup.
17. Argentina: Clearly, the football Gods are going to strike me down tonight. I was all set to put Netherlands in this spot, but Arjen Robben's face flashed before my eyes. Argentina? Out in the round robin two straight World Cups? Am I out of my mind? Probably...
Player to Watch: Leo Messi - Tommy Smyth loves this 19-year-old Barca stud.
FIRST ROUND SURVIVORS
16. Ivory Coast: There's a changing of the guard in African football with Cameroon, Nigeria and other regulars missing out. Ivory Coast will back into the round of 16 when Netherlands beat Argentina on June 21. You read it here first.
Player to Watch: Didier Drogba - Chelsea's manchild of a striker
15. Ukraine: Progress for the Ukraine. They'll follow their world class striker to success.
Player to Watch: Andriy Shevchenko - New Chelsea signing
14. Poland: These guys sneak into the 2nd round thanks to a rather weak group.
Player to Watch: Grzegorz Rasiak - Southampton
13. Germany: They peaked 4 years too early and now they have an un-liked coach, an injured star, an aging squad, and way too much pressure.
Player to Watch: Jens Lehmann - Arsenal Goalie didn't allow a goal in the Champions League this year
12. South Korea: Far from home they'll rely on the leadership of Man U's Ji-Sung Park.
Player to Watch: Park - Finally started to hold his own with the big boys in the Premiership this season.
11. Spain: Great roster but they're haunted by history. This roster is going to be entertaining to watch, to be sure. I just think they lack the superstar midfielder.
Player to Watch: Xabi Alonso - Liverpool player is the most likely midfielder to prove me wrong.
10. Sweden: Ah, I love the Swedes. They had a great run in the European Championship two years ago. They've got a stud striker (Ibrahimovic). They've got a delightful beard (Olaf Mellberg, if he grows it full). And they've got multiple Svenssons. But like Spain, they just can't compete with the top tier teams at midfield.
Player to Watch: Freddy Ljungberg - Arsenal star plays an entertaining attacking midfield.
9. Croatia: In some ways, I think these guys are probably overrated because of their cinderella run in France 98. But in other ways, maybe they've just gotten better. And their checkered unis are disorienting.
Player to Watch: Niko Kranjcar - The Coach's son, but one of those coach's son who's also the best player on the field.
THE ELITE EIGHT
8. Czech Republic: The 2nd ranked team in the world is suffering some injury trouble. But let me take you back to the European Championship in 2004. The Czechs had clinched top of the group and were playing Germany, who needed a win to survive. The Czechs rested their stars, sending out their weakest team possible...and still beat the Germans 2-1. Yoiks.
Player to Watch: Milan Baros - Aston Villa player stepped up his game for country in 2004 and could do it again this year.
7. Mexico: These guys have never had success in Europe. Somehow I think their lucky draw continues and they slip into the final eight.
Player to Watch: Jared Borgetti - First Mexican to play in England signed with Bolton a year ago.
6. Portugal: Figo decided to come out of retirement for one last shot at glory, but I think he's a jinx. His was supposed to be the Golden Generation in Portugal, but they only qualified for one World Cup and couldn't advance to the knockout stage. My recommendation? Bench Figo. This team is good enough without him. It's time for Cristiano Ronaldo to shine.
Player to Watch: Ronaldo - Man U. The best player in the world of that name.
5. United States: Hmmm...US is ranked 5th in the FIFA world Rankings...Paul is American...Paul thinks that the US can make a another statement this year...it'd be just like Paul to pick the US to live up to their FIFA ranking, wouldn't it? Hmmm...
Player to Watch: Eddie Johnson/Clint Dempsey - One or both need to provide some offense and burst onto the world scene like Donovan and Beasley did last Cup.
FINAL FOUR
4. Netherlands: Optimistic. Very optimistic. But they've got some nice young players on their roster and loads of talent everywhere. All their names are fun to try to pronounce too.
Player to Watch: Arjen Robben - Possibly, somehow the greatest player on Chelsea.
3. France: They crapped out last cup but I don't see it happening again. Actually, they almost missed out on the Cup but Zidane returned from International retirement and righted the ship. And he is the reason why I think they will succeed. Zidane is the anti-Figo. He is the John Elway of football (wait...well, you know what I mean). And having the greatest finisher in the world isn't too bad either.
Player to Watch: Thierry Henry - He and Rooney are the two best strikers at playing in a lone striker system when, for instance, their teams are bunkered in late to protect a lead.
THE CHAMPIONSHIP...
2. Brazil: There is no reason to think this World Cup won't belong to Ronaldinho the way the last cup belonged to Ronaldo. He's at the peak of his career, fresh off winning the Champions League. Plus, his aw-shucks demeanor makes him more likable than Ronaldo ever was. And he is surrounded by the usual vast array of talent. And yet...I think he will leave without the Cup. Because...
1. ENGLAND and Rooney are going to steal the show. The word is Rooney is going to play, if not in the round robin than certainly in the knockout stage. Europe may not know who Terrell Owens is, but you and I sure do. Rooney is going to pull a Terrell Owens, come back super quick from his broken foot, and lead England to their 2nd World Cup 40 years after their first. Despite suspect managing. Despite Peter Crouch. I'm in love with England's lineup. I can't imagine a better 11. But it is Big Game Wayne who is going to bring home the cup.
Also, for the many novice soccer fans out there, I've included a "player to watch" for every team I could; in most cases, he played in England and/or is the only player on the team that I know.
Right! Here goes...
32. Trinidad and Tobago: These guys scraped their way in with a controversial win over Bahrain. They're just happy to be in their first World Cup.
Player to Watch: Dwight Yorke - Former Man Uer
31. Saudi Arabia: No respect to the Arabs who don't have a single player based outside their country, and haven't won a World Cup game since their debut in the tourney in 1994.
Player to Watch: Sami Al-Jaber - Former Wolverhampton Wanderer and suposed "Greatest Saudi Footballer Ever"
30. Togo: You know you're in trouble when your biggest story heading into the tournament is a pay dispute between players and management.
Player to Watch: Emmanuel Adebayor - Arsenal
29. Ecuador: Every one of their qualifying victories was played way up in the high Andes. I'm not sure that's the best way to prepare for Central Europe in June.
28. Angola: Just look at their team picture. These guys have no idea what's going on.
Player to Watch: Rui Manuel Marques - Leeds United
27. Tunisia: Bit of injury trouble coming in with one striker out and their leading striker, Brazilian born Santos, to miss their opening game.
26. Serbia and Montenegro: No one wants to play them, but their group is just too tough.
Player to Watch: Mateja Kezman - Former Chelsea
25. Iran: Back for the third World Cup and first since their greatest victory in history - over the US in France '98. Nothing bigger this year.
24. Costa Rica: They've actually got a very good record in the World Cup (3W, 3L, 1D). And if this tournament were being held anywhere else I might fancy them to knock off this iffy German team. But it isn't so I don't.
23. Ghana: Somebody has to lose Group E. It's Ghana, despite a strong roster in their first cup.
Player to Watch: Michael Essien - Dirty Chelsea Midfielder
22. Australia: Somebody has to lose Group F. It's Australia who's strong side is hurt by the seeding system with a tough draw.
Player to Watch: Timmy Cahill - Everton Baby!!
21. Paraguay: These guys have won a game in 5 out of their 6 World Cups, but only one game. They've got a few German-based players on their roster and should give a nice run to England and Sweden, but not much of a scare.
20. Japan: I have to keep reminding myself that Japan's nice run last World Cup came at home. I really believe that Japan and South Korea are on a similar trajectory as the US, with more players playing in Europe. But Japan didn't win a game in France '98 and will only do a little better here.
Player to Watch: Nakata - Bolton/The Japanese Beckham
19. Switzerland: The Swiss are undergoing a bit of a Renaissance these days. They're win a game.
Player to Watch: Hakan Yakin - Fantastic name
18. Italy: There's been a lot of buzz in the States about the Czech Republic's rash of injuries, but the Azzuri are having it even worse. This is the first of two tall trees to fall in the first round.
Player to Watch: All of them. They're all divers. That's why the ref called that infamous dive last World Cup that turned out to not be a dive at all. Reputation. Ah, sorry. Actually, watch Del Piero. He's due in the Cup.
17. Argentina: Clearly, the football Gods are going to strike me down tonight. I was all set to put Netherlands in this spot, but Arjen Robben's face flashed before my eyes. Argentina? Out in the round robin two straight World Cups? Am I out of my mind? Probably...
Player to Watch: Leo Messi - Tommy Smyth loves this 19-year-old Barca stud.
FIRST ROUND SURVIVORS
16. Ivory Coast: There's a changing of the guard in African football with Cameroon, Nigeria and other regulars missing out. Ivory Coast will back into the round of 16 when Netherlands beat Argentina on June 21. You read it here first.
Player to Watch: Didier Drogba - Chelsea's manchild of a striker
15. Ukraine: Progress for the Ukraine. They'll follow their world class striker to success.
Player to Watch: Andriy Shevchenko - New Chelsea signing
14. Poland: These guys sneak into the 2nd round thanks to a rather weak group.
Player to Watch: Grzegorz Rasiak - Southampton
13. Germany: They peaked 4 years too early and now they have an un-liked coach, an injured star, an aging squad, and way too much pressure.
Player to Watch: Jens Lehmann - Arsenal Goalie didn't allow a goal in the Champions League this year
12. South Korea: Far from home they'll rely on the leadership of Man U's Ji-Sung Park.
Player to Watch: Park - Finally started to hold his own with the big boys in the Premiership this season.
11. Spain: Great roster but they're haunted by history. This roster is going to be entertaining to watch, to be sure. I just think they lack the superstar midfielder.
Player to Watch: Xabi Alonso - Liverpool player is the most likely midfielder to prove me wrong.
10. Sweden: Ah, I love the Swedes. They had a great run in the European Championship two years ago. They've got a stud striker (Ibrahimovic). They've got a delightful beard (Olaf Mellberg, if he grows it full). And they've got multiple Svenssons. But like Spain, they just can't compete with the top tier teams at midfield.
Player to Watch: Freddy Ljungberg - Arsenal star plays an entertaining attacking midfield.
9. Croatia: In some ways, I think these guys are probably overrated because of their cinderella run in France 98. But in other ways, maybe they've just gotten better. And their checkered unis are disorienting.
Player to Watch: Niko Kranjcar - The Coach's son, but one of those coach's son who's also the best player on the field.
THE ELITE EIGHT
8. Czech Republic: The 2nd ranked team in the world is suffering some injury trouble. But let me take you back to the European Championship in 2004. The Czechs had clinched top of the group and were playing Germany, who needed a win to survive. The Czechs rested their stars, sending out their weakest team possible...and still beat the Germans 2-1. Yoiks.
Player to Watch: Milan Baros - Aston Villa player stepped up his game for country in 2004 and could do it again this year.
7. Mexico: These guys have never had success in Europe. Somehow I think their lucky draw continues and they slip into the final eight.
Player to Watch: Jared Borgetti - First Mexican to play in England signed with Bolton a year ago.
6. Portugal: Figo decided to come out of retirement for one last shot at glory, but I think he's a jinx. His was supposed to be the Golden Generation in Portugal, but they only qualified for one World Cup and couldn't advance to the knockout stage. My recommendation? Bench Figo. This team is good enough without him. It's time for Cristiano Ronaldo to shine.
Player to Watch: Ronaldo - Man U. The best player in the world of that name.
5. United States: Hmmm...US is ranked 5th in the FIFA world Rankings...Paul is American...Paul thinks that the US can make a another statement this year...it'd be just like Paul to pick the US to live up to their FIFA ranking, wouldn't it? Hmmm...
Player to Watch: Eddie Johnson/Clint Dempsey - One or both need to provide some offense and burst onto the world scene like Donovan and Beasley did last Cup.
FINAL FOUR
4. Netherlands: Optimistic. Very optimistic. But they've got some nice young players on their roster and loads of talent everywhere. All their names are fun to try to pronounce too.
Player to Watch: Arjen Robben - Possibly, somehow the greatest player on Chelsea.
3. France: They crapped out last cup but I don't see it happening again. Actually, they almost missed out on the Cup but Zidane returned from International retirement and righted the ship. And he is the reason why I think they will succeed. Zidane is the anti-Figo. He is the John Elway of football (wait...well, you know what I mean). And having the greatest finisher in the world isn't too bad either.
Player to Watch: Thierry Henry - He and Rooney are the two best strikers at playing in a lone striker system when, for instance, their teams are bunkered in late to protect a lead.
THE CHAMPIONSHIP...
2. Brazil: There is no reason to think this World Cup won't belong to Ronaldinho the way the last cup belonged to Ronaldo. He's at the peak of his career, fresh off winning the Champions League. Plus, his aw-shucks demeanor makes him more likable than Ronaldo ever was. And he is surrounded by the usual vast array of talent. And yet...I think he will leave without the Cup. Because...
1. ENGLAND and Rooney are going to steal the show. The word is Rooney is going to play, if not in the round robin than certainly in the knockout stage. Europe may not know who Terrell Owens is, but you and I sure do. Rooney is going to pull a Terrell Owens, come back super quick from his broken foot, and lead England to their 2nd World Cup 40 years after their first. Despite suspect managing. Despite Peter Crouch. I'm in love with England's lineup. I can't imagine a better 11. But it is Big Game Wayne who is going to bring home the cup.
posted by Prof. A at 9:31 PM
3 Comments:
18
Thank you for your kind comment. You're absolutely right. 18 is an excellent number, and I'm a big fan of the Syracuse.com website. Can I please write a World Cup Blog for you? I'm exceding funny and sharp-witted, even if I lack knowledge on the subject. Did I mention I live with Fyall?
Wow. I didn't even see that link in his name! Hilarious. Good stuff Luca! I still don't understand the syracuse.com link though...
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