Sunday, July 03, 2011

"It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Mark Cavendish!" and Other Super Hero Stories from the Tour

I just posted this on twitter: @pa451 - "No one rides a bike like Fabian Cancellara. And... No one rides a bike like Thor Hushovd."

I liked that thought - the idea that there are all sorts of fantastic riders among the 198 cyclists in the Tour de France peloton who are fantastic in different sorts of ways. Kinda like a super hero team. I thought I'd elaborate on some of my favorite cyclists and their superpowers.

Note: I'd love to give you specific stages from specific years that typify these guys, but I'm no Tour encyclopedia and I feel like looking all that up wouldn't be worth the effort, especially on July 4th weekend. I'm writing this from the cottage with all sorts of other stuff I could be doing but, you know, when you get the itch to write about pro cycling, you gotta scratch it.

Note 2: None of these guys (except for Sammy, but not really) are considered overall contenders. I thought we'd look at a more eclectic group today.

Name: Fabian Cancellara
Alias: Fabulous Cancellara
Superpower: Time-trialing - In a solitary time-trial, Cancellara can get around a typical road course faster than any cyclist on earth. See for example, his 4 World Time Trial Championships, his 2008 Olympic Time Trial Championship, and his 7 Tour de France stage victories, most of them individual time trials. See also, today's team time trial when he almost single-handedly dragged his boys on Leopard Trek, including overall contender Andy Schleck, to 3rd place.
Secret Power: Stealing stage victories on a sprint when you least expect it. He almost did it again yesterday, when the race was splintered by a couple late crashes leading to a select battle on a tough up-hill finish. Cancellara attacked out of nowhere on the final stretch, but got caught back.

Name: Thor Hushovd
Alias: The God of Thunder
Superpower: Sprinting - He's won two green jerseys in the TDF. That's the award you get when you accrue the most points across the entire race. You get points by placing high in sprints, mainly at the end of flat stages. Usually sprinters are big dudes who can throw their weight onto the pedals to achieve a quick acceleration. Thor is a big dude. Hence the speed.
Secret Power: Climbing - For a big fella Thor can get up and down the mountains quite well. There are usually sprint points available at a few spot in the middle of the stage, placed there by organizers to keep the race interesting. Often, Thor will give the slip to the other sprinters (none of whom can climb like him) on the hillier stages to go rack up green jersey points on a breakaway.

Name: Jens Voigt
Alias: Good ol' Jens!
Superpower: Super-domestique - Every tour contender, from Lance to Alberto Contador to Jens' longtime teammate Andy Schleck, needs a great supporting cast around him. Cycling is a team sport. Drafting is critical along the windy plains, and pacing is key in the mountains. Also, someone needs to go back to the car to pick up water bottles and it's NOT going to be the guy using every ounce of energy to be the fastest around France. That's where the domestiques come in. Jens is a super-domestique because he can climb almost as well as the best, and sprint almost as fast as the best. Also, he's super affable, even at the super-old age (for cycling) of 39. The commentators love Jens, and so do I. Yesterday, late in the race, with the speed kicked up to catch the breakaway, Jens was sent back to the team car to pick up 14 water bottles. Try picking up 14 rocks and then sprinting as hard as you can next time you're on your bike. Jens does it with a wink and a smile.

Name: Mark Cavendish
Alias: Manx Missile (He's from the Isle of Mann, on the southern tip of England.)
Superpower: Sprinting - No one accelerates like the Manx Missile. Absolutely no one. He makes winning stages look so easy; he's snagged an absurd 15 in only 3 years of racing in the Tour.
Secret Weakness: Mountains - He hates 'em. In fact, he dropped out of the Tour in his first year to avoid the Alps. He's also never won the Green Jersey, finishing second last year.

Name: Mark Renshaw
Superpower: Lead-outs - Renshaw is the Robin to Cavendish's Batman, only if Batman let Robin go into the warehouse and fight the bad guys for a couple minutes, softening them up before Batman joined the fray at the very end. If you want to consistently win sprint-finish stages in the tour like the Manx Missile, you need a great launcher who sets an absurd pace that you can draft behind and then explode out of. Renshaw can probably bike faster than just about everyone in the race. But he's content setting up Cavendish.

Name: Thomas Voeckler
Nickname: Le Chouchou
Superpower: Pleasing the sponsors - Bursting on the scene in 2004 by somehow dragging himself through the mountains fast enough to hold the Yellow Jersey for 10 stages, Voeckler can be counted on to do something to catch the eye of the cameras at some point during the race. Whether it's getting involved in breakaways, or launching an absolutely futile attack in the mountains against superior climbers, he'll find a way to get attention. The French love him. And you know what? So do I.
Trademark: His spidery pedaling style - His climbing form is horrible and endearing. He looks like he has ants literally in his pants, knees flailing, head bobbing in misery. Golf fans, you know how you can tell Jim Furyk from his swing without even seeing his face? That's Voeckler's pedaling style.

Name: Samuel Sanchez
Nickname: Samu, Sammy
Superpower: Climbing - I wanted to highlight Sammy because he's the leader of the Euskaltel-Euskadi team. That's the unofficial team of the Basque region of Spain. They're in the tour every year, easy to spot in their orange tops and black bottoms. Sammy and his teammates are all either Basque or connected enough to the Basque region to be on the team. That makes Euskaltel-Euskadi WAY closer to a national team than any other team in the recent tour, including the US Postal Service which employed numerous non-Americans to lead Lance Armstrong up and down mountains. I tend to route against the Spanish in everything. (I'm not sure why, come to think of it, but it's true.) But you have to love the Basque riders. All they know how to do is climb up mountains very fast.
Secret Power: Winning Gold Medals - Actually I'll amend last comment...Sammy won the 2008 Olympics Road Race, which takes strategy and more all-around skill besides climbing. Sammy is in the awkward position of being too good a cyclist to win a TDF stage - the top contenders will never let him escape - but not quite good enough to finish on the podium - he finished 4th last year. Alas, he's already 2:36 behind this year. It didn't help that Euskaltel-Euskadi finished dead last in the team time trial this year. Like I said, all they know how to do is climb mountains.

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