Winter Olympics: Ranking the Sports
I thought ranking the 15 Olympic sports was a good way to kickoff this daily Olympic Journal. First of all, it's a way to let you know my overall stance on the different games. Second, it's a simple column-writing gimmick that should take about 20 minutes to knock off.
I'm going by the official Olympic breakdown for no apparent reason, even though it lists luge and skeleton as two separate sports, and moguls and aerials as one single sport (freestyle skiing). Frankly, I'd be happy if they tossed luge and skeleton in with bobsled, like ESPN.com does, but they also tossed short track speed skating in with normal speed skating, which nearly made me vom. It's a petty, yet convoluted issue: perfect for The Sports Sauna...but not today.
The Winter Games, From Least to Best
T-14. Luge and Skeleton: Ha! I'll just lump them together anyway! I've watched a lot of Winter Olympics in my life, and but I don't really have any memories of a particularly entertaining Luge or Skeleton competition. Well, I do remember Ze German luge champion, Georg Hackl, somehow. But these sled races don't have the same beauty as the other speed sports on skis and skates.
13. Biathlon: I don't know why this is so far below Cross-Country Skiing. Theoretically, adding guns to a sport should make it better, shouldn't it? I'm always interested in it when I find it on TV, but I've never been enthralled. I think it's because it doesn't have a good flow to it. Someone takes a lead, chokes on some targets, and they're done and someone else has the lead. It's all over the place. The other thing is it's never as fun as a video game version would be. You ever play a dart game on computer where the pointer shakes all over the place, and the harder you try to hold still, the more it shakes? Those are satisfyingly fun games. Throw in some sort of skiing element, and I think it would offer significantly more entertainment than your average biathlon. I'm definitely going to check out the "Mass Start" on Feb. 25 though. That sounds like a nice twist.
12. Bobsled: Slightly more interesting than luge and skeleton because it seems like there's a little more to it. A little more teamwork. A little more steering. A little more strategy. Plus, bobsled is cool. Skeleton and luge are just weird.
11. Nordic Combined: Here's another paradox...you'd think by adding two fairly entertaining sports together (ski jumping and cross-country skiing) you'd get one big SuperSport. But it doesn't really work that way. It's just more complicated as a spectator, with a point system, and events spread over several days. One fun aspect is the team competition. Teams going head to head instead of individuals brings out the nation vs. nation storyline, adds a twist to the pressure of the games, and puts another layer on the storyline.
10. Figure Skating: Wake me up for the final night, and I'll watch, especially the women, because I recognize them. Also, I don't like to see men prancing. It makes me uncomfortable. There, I said it. But above all, it's fun to watch because every time they jump, they might fall.
9. Freestyle Skiing: I love moguls. Tons of fun to watch. And Johnny Mosely's 360 Iron Cross with a grab to win gold is one of my top 5 or 10 best Winter Games memories. These days the mogul skiers go inverted! Of course, the aerial jumps are freakin nuts. But with aerials, after a couple jumps, they all look the same. Off course, when they fall, it's as ugly as it gets. And I do like that they call the jumps "kickers."
8. Snowboarding: The halfpipe just doesn't do it for me. Like aerials, all the tricks look the same to me. I like ESPN's coverage of Winter X when they have that one spot where they just try to get up as high as possible. That's something I can understand. But other than that, I can't really "see" greatness in the halfpipe. (Plus, I've always felt skiers look cooler in the pipe than snowboarders.) And Parallel Giant Slalom just isn't as fun or fast as the skier version. But Snowboard Cross is JOYFUL. It just makes you want to go out there try the course yourself. And anytime you have multiple athletes racing at the same time on the same course with a high likelihood of contact and crashes, you've got a great TV sport. Plus, I have no evidence to back this up, but I'm pretty sure the sport was invented by ESPN2.
7. Ski Jumping: This sport requires an investment. You can't turn it on, watch a couple jumps and be rewarded. You've got to watch for a while. You've got to catch a few rounds. Pick your favorite guys. Get a feel for where guys are landing. See a crash here or there. And sometime in the final round, you'll realize you have a feel for what a great jump is. And without even seeing the measurements, you'll know whether this jump was farther or shorter than the last jump. And then you'll be ready to enjoy and appreciate the champion jump when it happens.
6. Curling: I still remember watching in 1998 and just being mesmerized. Then after the competition ended, they kicked back to TNT's Jim Lampley in the studio. Now, Lamps is primarily a boxing commentator. And he's got a strong personality behind the desk. Not friendly-smart like Costas, not friendly-funny like Sportscenter. He is opinionated and polished, like FOX News man who ended up doing sports instead. Bottom line: he's not the kind of guy who would be interested in curling. But sitting at the studio desk in Nagano, he grinned at the camera and said, "Now I have to admit, I was skeptical about curling coming into these games. But I have to say, I've been converted. It is a fun sport to watch." Anyway, I'll love him forever for saying that. Four years later, I was in college, and our 4-man dorm got hooked on curling. I'm sure it's happened to many of you. For those skeptics out there, gather up your most open-minded friends, and watch the rocks for an hour. Your life will never be the same.
5. Ice Hockey: I know this is at the top of everyone's list, but I watch the Winter Olympics to see something I only see every four years. Still, the hockey competition these days is pretty heated. I almost end up getting sucked into the hockey competition despite myself.
4. Cross-Country Skiing: I love this sport the same way I love the Tour de France. The endurance and drive of the athletes just gets me pumped up. But this wouldn't finish so high up if it wasn't for the Men's 4x10K Relay, which is, in my opinion, the single most entertaining event in all Olympic sports. Of course, my perception is affected by 3 straight down-to-the-wire finishes between Norway and Italy. I'll hedge my expectations, but the entire race is always fascinating from a strategic perspective.
3. Speed Skating: Why is it that the Dutch are the best at speed skating, and the Koreans are the best at short track? God knows. Always plenty of drama in speed skating. This is where NBC's research always pays off for all of us. They know how to push our buttons: they build the story, and let the race itself serve as the climax. I'm not complaining. This is fun.
2. Alpine Skiing: Downhill, baby. These are the true daredevils of the Winter Games. The aerial jumpers...they only have to force themselves straight down for a few seconds. These guys fling themselves down a hill, going faster than I drive, with perfect concentration the only thing between them an a free ride in a helicopter that they'll never remember. And at the same time, the precision of the sport is gorgeous. Each turn leads into the next, while the athlete is getting ready for the one after that. Time checks all the way down keep it interesting for us on our couches. Great fun.
1. Short Track: Individual short track is insane. Team short track is otherworldly. First of all, they all look like aliens, with their fancy gloves and helmets, their crouched form, and their toe-lunges towards the finish line. Crashes in short track are cataclysmic in the story line. Their threat just increases with each dizzying loop until that final, inevitable sprint for the finish. I think I could watch short track until my eyes started to bleed. Excuse me while I move to South Korea.
I'm going by the official Olympic breakdown for no apparent reason, even though it lists luge and skeleton as two separate sports, and moguls and aerials as one single sport (freestyle skiing). Frankly, I'd be happy if they tossed luge and skeleton in with bobsled, like ESPN.com does, but they also tossed short track speed skating in with normal speed skating, which nearly made me vom. It's a petty, yet convoluted issue: perfect for The Sports Sauna...but not today.
The Winter Games, From Least to Best
T-14. Luge and Skeleton: Ha! I'll just lump them together anyway! I've watched a lot of Winter Olympics in my life, and but I don't really have any memories of a particularly entertaining Luge or Skeleton competition. Well, I do remember Ze German luge champion, Georg Hackl, somehow. But these sled races don't have the same beauty as the other speed sports on skis and skates.
13. Biathlon: I don't know why this is so far below Cross-Country Skiing. Theoretically, adding guns to a sport should make it better, shouldn't it? I'm always interested in it when I find it on TV, but I've never been enthralled. I think it's because it doesn't have a good flow to it. Someone takes a lead, chokes on some targets, and they're done and someone else has the lead. It's all over the place. The other thing is it's never as fun as a video game version would be. You ever play a dart game on computer where the pointer shakes all over the place, and the harder you try to hold still, the more it shakes? Those are satisfyingly fun games. Throw in some sort of skiing element, and I think it would offer significantly more entertainment than your average biathlon. I'm definitely going to check out the "Mass Start" on Feb. 25 though. That sounds like a nice twist.
12. Bobsled: Slightly more interesting than luge and skeleton because it seems like there's a little more to it. A little more teamwork. A little more steering. A little more strategy. Plus, bobsled is cool. Skeleton and luge are just weird.
11. Nordic Combined: Here's another paradox...you'd think by adding two fairly entertaining sports together (ski jumping and cross-country skiing) you'd get one big SuperSport. But it doesn't really work that way. It's just more complicated as a spectator, with a point system, and events spread over several days. One fun aspect is the team competition. Teams going head to head instead of individuals brings out the nation vs. nation storyline, adds a twist to the pressure of the games, and puts another layer on the storyline.
10. Figure Skating: Wake me up for the final night, and I'll watch, especially the women, because I recognize them. Also, I don't like to see men prancing. It makes me uncomfortable. There, I said it. But above all, it's fun to watch because every time they jump, they might fall.
9. Freestyle Skiing: I love moguls. Tons of fun to watch. And Johnny Mosely's 360 Iron Cross with a grab to win gold is one of my top 5 or 10 best Winter Games memories. These days the mogul skiers go inverted! Of course, the aerial jumps are freakin nuts. But with aerials, after a couple jumps, they all look the same. Off course, when they fall, it's as ugly as it gets. And I do like that they call the jumps "kickers."
8. Snowboarding: The halfpipe just doesn't do it for me. Like aerials, all the tricks look the same to me. I like ESPN's coverage of Winter X when they have that one spot where they just try to get up as high as possible. That's something I can understand. But other than that, I can't really "see" greatness in the halfpipe. (Plus, I've always felt skiers look cooler in the pipe than snowboarders.) And Parallel Giant Slalom just isn't as fun or fast as the skier version. But Snowboard Cross is JOYFUL. It just makes you want to go out there try the course yourself. And anytime you have multiple athletes racing at the same time on the same course with a high likelihood of contact and crashes, you've got a great TV sport. Plus, I have no evidence to back this up, but I'm pretty sure the sport was invented by ESPN2.
7. Ski Jumping: This sport requires an investment. You can't turn it on, watch a couple jumps and be rewarded. You've got to watch for a while. You've got to catch a few rounds. Pick your favorite guys. Get a feel for where guys are landing. See a crash here or there. And sometime in the final round, you'll realize you have a feel for what a great jump is. And without even seeing the measurements, you'll know whether this jump was farther or shorter than the last jump. And then you'll be ready to enjoy and appreciate the champion jump when it happens.
6. Curling: I still remember watching in 1998 and just being mesmerized. Then after the competition ended, they kicked back to TNT's Jim Lampley in the studio. Now, Lamps is primarily a boxing commentator. And he's got a strong personality behind the desk. Not friendly-smart like Costas, not friendly-funny like Sportscenter. He is opinionated and polished, like FOX News man who ended up doing sports instead. Bottom line: he's not the kind of guy who would be interested in curling. But sitting at the studio desk in Nagano, he grinned at the camera and said, "Now I have to admit, I was skeptical about curling coming into these games. But I have to say, I've been converted. It is a fun sport to watch." Anyway, I'll love him forever for saying that. Four years later, I was in college, and our 4-man dorm got hooked on curling. I'm sure it's happened to many of you. For those skeptics out there, gather up your most open-minded friends, and watch the rocks for an hour. Your life will never be the same.
5. Ice Hockey: I know this is at the top of everyone's list, but I watch the Winter Olympics to see something I only see every four years. Still, the hockey competition these days is pretty heated. I almost end up getting sucked into the hockey competition despite myself.
4. Cross-Country Skiing: I love this sport the same way I love the Tour de France. The endurance and drive of the athletes just gets me pumped up. But this wouldn't finish so high up if it wasn't for the Men's 4x10K Relay, which is, in my opinion, the single most entertaining event in all Olympic sports. Of course, my perception is affected by 3 straight down-to-the-wire finishes between Norway and Italy. I'll hedge my expectations, but the entire race is always fascinating from a strategic perspective.
3. Speed Skating: Why is it that the Dutch are the best at speed skating, and the Koreans are the best at short track? God knows. Always plenty of drama in speed skating. This is where NBC's research always pays off for all of us. They know how to push our buttons: they build the story, and let the race itself serve as the climax. I'm not complaining. This is fun.
2. Alpine Skiing: Downhill, baby. These are the true daredevils of the Winter Games. The aerial jumpers...they only have to force themselves straight down for a few seconds. These guys fling themselves down a hill, going faster than I drive, with perfect concentration the only thing between them an a free ride in a helicopter that they'll never remember. And at the same time, the precision of the sport is gorgeous. Each turn leads into the next, while the athlete is getting ready for the one after that. Time checks all the way down keep it interesting for us on our couches. Great fun.
1. Short Track: Individual short track is insane. Team short track is otherworldly. First of all, they all look like aliens, with their fancy gloves and helmets, their crouched form, and their toe-lunges towards the finish line. Crashes in short track are cataclysmic in the story line. Their threat just increases with each dizzying loop until that final, inevitable sprint for the finish. I think I could watch short track until my eyes started to bleed. Excuse me while I move to South Korea.
posted by Prof. A at 1:12 AM
1 Comments:
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