Monday, April 02, 2012

Running Commentary: NCAA National Championship

Bill Simmons has very few rules, but one of them is that whenever a National Championship game features two classic programs, one of which represents everything that is wrong with college basketball, and is loathed nationwide, I have to keep a running blog. Here goes...

16:22 - We join you already in progress as Thomas Robinson goes STRONG to the hoop. I love that man, but something tells me that he, like Jared Sullinger, is a college stud and an NBA bust. Those undersized guys...they have a spotty pro track record.

13:40 -  Ugh. I'm trying to come up with a metaphor for how outmatched Withey is in this game, but all I've got is "he looks like a white guy playing basketball against a bunch of black guys."

13:15 - Oho! Never mind! Withey can play! I've been told by my host, Doctor Paul, that he had a big block early too. I'm still glad I got to use the "white guy" joke I came up with there.

12:53 - Withey is taking over!

12:35 - The Superdome looks like a horrible place to watch a basketball game. Compare how far the crowd is from the court to the Carrier Dome. Not even close. I still don't regret being on the wrong continent in 2003. (Trying to sound convincing...)

10:46 - Anthony Davis #1, Kidd-Gilchrist #2 is the most no-brainer draft order I can ever remember. Davis is CLEARLY number one. Kidd-Gilchrist is, in my incredibly significant opinion, CLEARLY number two. He'll be a star.

10:00 - Just noticed this: there's a lot of racial tension in that Powerade "Power Through" commercial about the mostly black team visiting a team with a smirking white coach and a mostly white crowd. There's a lot of tension in general in those Jimmy Kimmel Capital One commercials. You know, because Jimmy Kimmel isn't funny.

9:04 - Kentucky by 10. Right about now Syracuse fans can rightfully muse if they might have had the best chance against these Wildcats out of any team in the bracket, with Fab Melo anchoring that clogging zone. We'll never know. Unless heaven has an alternate reality machine. North Carolina fans, too...if only Kendall Marshall had stayed healthy...

6:52 - Two commercials that never get old for me: "Hey look! We're on the fan cam!" and "What am I...some kind of summoner who can summon footage to his phone?"

6:52 - Two thoughts. "Jim Boeheim in the house! Yaaaaaahhhh! Jimmy B!" & "Wait...he's watching, not coaching. Awwwww..."

6:00 - I think seeing Jim Boeheim is going to be the highlight of the game for me. Kentucky by 15.

5:40 - James Carville is sitting near the Kentucky bench! The Ragin' Cajun! Or is that Bill Heder in a bald cap?

4:57 - Can we get the referees from the SU-Ohio State game in here at halftime? Foul out some of these Kentucky studs...

3:33 - Kelly Clarkson sings us into break of the Baylor-Notre Dame game. Wait a minute...

3:00 - I don't like that Holy Week coincides with Jim Nantz Week this year. It's hard to fully invest in both with the attention they deserve.

2:31 - Friend of the Sauna Chris suggests Oden-Durant as the other clear number 1, number 2 draft, except by the draft people were making a good (and ultimately vindicated) argument that Kevin Durant should go number one. No one will argue Kidd-Gilchrist should go over Davis. That'd be crazy. You can't pass up Davis, with his size, defensive ability, and athleticism.

1:00 - Chris: "Everybody wanted Oden. Seattle, too." Besides the great Bill Simmons, I feel like I remember Chad Ford or some other reporter polling all 32 NBA teams, and finding a couple teams claiming to have Durant over Oden on their draft board. I could be wrong...a quick google doesn't turn up much on that question. I just think it will be 32-0 Davis number one this year. And I'm overrating Kidd-Gilchrist compared to other pundits.

Haltime - What else is on?

Halftime - "@A_Jorg I think brittany griner and Anthony Davis are the same person."
Who's Brittany Griner?

Halftime - Chris: "Some pundits wanted D[urant] over O[den]. But, I'd wager, fewer of those 2007 pundits than 2012 folks putting Kidd-G 3rd or lower." Hmmm...I think the 2012 draft is loaded, so I could see Kidd-G moving around boards a bit before the draft. Anyway, I think he's awesome. Speaking of the draft, I also think Dion Waiters is going to be a great pro, but that's a discussion for another blog post at another time.

18:45 - Nice bucket over Davis by Thomas Robinson to make it a 15-point game. Thomas, not Michael, as I originally wrote at the top. Who's Michael Robinson?

15:30 - The thinking here, suggested by Doc's dad, is Kansas needs to get the ball to Withey to challenge Davis. Right now Davis is free to leave Withey and challenge every other Jayhawks' shots. He's affecting every play in the paint.

13:00 - Ballgame. Thomas Robinson pulls down another manly rebound with one hand, and then poses for a split second under the hoop, enough time for Davis to poke it away leading to an easy Kentucky bucket.

11:51 - Kansas cuts it to 10! We're jumping up and down here! ...Well, not really. Let's see what Chris has to say: "Surprisingly bad pro: Wes Johnson. Waiters should score." Yeah, I never thought Wes would be an all-star (search "Wes Johnson reality-check" on the Sports Sauna for a couple attempts to calm Syracuse fans down back in 09-10), but I thought he would definitely start for a bad team. Wes might be a total bust at this point. The key to Dion Waiters' NBA value, for me, is the current dearth of good 2-guards. If Dion's three-point shot continues to improve, he could be an explosive offensive weapon, an irrational confidence type, for any team in the league. That's the kind of guy who has a few memorable moments in the playoffs before his career is done.

8:41 - I like Kevin Young's Dookie haircut.

7:40 - Withey finally goes at Davis...it didn't work. Kentucky ball, lead by 12.

6:02 - Unpopular opinion, at least in this room, but I like the way this game is being refereed. They're letting them play. The only annoying thing is the always insufferable Kentucky fans complaining when, once or twice, Kentucky has encountered as much contact under the hoop as Kansas does pretty much every trip.

4:58 - You know what it is about Anthony Davis? Normally a guy with that body-type, even a basketball player, has an awkwardness about him. Not Davis. He is in absolute control of those lanky limbs.

4:17 - And Whitey (sic) gets one back! On the other end, Tyshawn Taylor, red hot from the three point line (1 for his last 1), gets an old-fashioned three-point play. It's a nine point game! Jim Nantz is getting excited...

1:57 - Kentucky's offense is absolutely static right now against the famous Kansas second half defense. Tommy Robinson, at the line, down by seven.

1:11 - On April 13th... the cabin from Lost is back...The Cabin in the Woods...Rated "R."

1:11 - Kansas ball, down six. I don't care what Clark and Kerr say. Jayhawks need a three.

0:00 - Final score, Kentucky 67, Kansas 59. Congratulations to the Wildcats, especially the upperclassmen, who really carried the team. Last thought: is it me, or does Anthony Davis have a unibrow?